Living his dreams..

The most painful.. much more than the actual punishment or the bad/ difficult situation.. is the feeling that G-d is punishing you.. G-d has left you.. And when that happens after attempting to do good then it is so much more painful... We think to ourselves is this what I get for being 'good'.. for trying to help out.. It is hard not to focus on the bad that has befallen us .. but rather to look at the bigger picture and think about higher state of life.. of dreams..

Yosef was able to do that.. He had the most painful and difficult youth.. He was an orphan, betrayed by his brothers, a stranger in Egpyt, a slave, suffered harrasment, then thrown into prison.. and for so many years he had no sign from G-d.. yet he was able to overcome his challenges.. and grow.. He is the only one called Hatzadik - the righteous one.

The angel approached Yosef Hatzadik asking him "What are you searching for?" What's your mission? Yosef answers "את אחי אני מבקש" I am concerned about my brothers..
Even though he knows his brothers despise him .. he goes to look for them and is concerned about them.. but what happens? no positive reward.. or feedback from G-d.. on the contrary he is thrown into the pit.. to be eaten by poisonous snakes.. then gets sold by his own brethern as a slave..

But what keeps him going is his dreams.. Higher purpose in life.. He does not focus on his own pain.. and even though he is in prison.. he still thinks about how he can help others? מדוע פניכם רעים היום It hurts him that others are sad.. and tries to cheer them up.
His years in prison passed by really quickly for him because he knew it was all from Hashem and had faith in G-d that it is all good.

When his brothers came to Egypt and bowed to him.. the verse does not say.. and he rembered the pain they had caused him.. he remembered how they threw him into the pit.. they sold him as a slave.. they mocked him.. but the verse says.. He remembered the dream.. He knew it was all from Hashem.. It's all part of a grand plan..

Oh G-d.. let us live that way..

-Rebbitzin Yungreis Thursday Torah class - @ Hineini